A Shout Out

Early in my marriage, I found the trips from our home in the I95 corridor to Northwestern Pennsylvania intimidating; I would suggest that the sensation was similar perhaps to that felt when visiting a foreign land where the main source of nutrition is insects, or when visiting a college campus on the day students traditionally streak the quad, and you are conspicuously over-dressed.  This land where shooting woodchuck (what I grew up calling a ground hog, an animal so celebrated that an entire day of the year was dedicated to it) was sport and the ability to pee off a back porch was a descriptor of good real estate - it all seemed especially "below the canal" to my Delawarian mini-mall laden blood. (if you are from Delaware, you'll understand my reference.)

Now here's the confession: one key reason for my uneasiness during these visits to see my beloved husband's family came in the form of my kind sister-in-law Tania.  Through no fault of her own, she was perfect in my mind, and I couldn't quite measure up to that.  She knew the cues for when to get up and start clearing the dishes. She knew the family history and stories and understood references to various family members' antics.  She was the keeper of the important dates like birthdays and graduations.  In my insecure, newly married, surrounded by people who own firearms and shoot furry things proudly, state, I could not see past all the ways she was clearly the winner of best daughter-in-law and wife contest.  I admit it, I wallowed a bit in the pool of self-pity on those drives back to civilization.

Thankfully, the story doesn't end there.  Fast forward 15 years later, and I sat yesterday talking to that same sister, gleaning her wisdom about children and chores.  There is so much that I admire about this woman, a picture of grace and poise and wisdom.  I have never received unsolicited advice from her; she has always held her tongue until an open heart approached her for input.  I've observed her face challenges, whether it be health issues of various family members or concerns about the schooling of her children, and  I've witnessed the drive within her to pursue solutions and not grow stagnant.  So much of how I parent and relate to others is rooted in what I've learned from her patient answers to my questions.

One of my most favorite benefits of marrying into this family, has been the privilege of gaining a God-given, older sister, who shares my love for organized closets and label makers.  She continues to be the gate keeper of the calendar, reminding us that so-in-so will be graduating in 9 months, and shouldn't we be making a hotel arrangement.  She is prepared for all disasters, and always has bandaids for my children since I never seem to restock my purse with them.  Thankfully now, I have grown up a bit in my own wisdom, and no longer see these as road signs of my own insufficiency, but instead recognize these as gifts for us all to share and benefit from.  And I can confidently say I've grown in wisdom, because I've decided to pursue relationships such as this, with especially wise people, and I thank God for that.

He who walks with the wise grows wise, but a companion of fools suffers harm.  Proverbs 13:20